I think a big part of being a teacher is of course not only educating our kids, but instilling the confidence in them. And we must discipline ourselves to do this. It is too easy to snap at them for every little mistake they may make. We have to try and praise them when they do well and ignore the mishaps that may occur along the way. If we just point out their errors, in the end they may become introvert and unwilling to try anything in case of making a mistake and feeling obtuse.
Unfortunately, the only guarantee in life is that we will make mistakes and this applies to everyone – and kids are going to make more than their share. I remember my father always telling me in his quiet voice, “There is nothing wrong in making a mistake as long as you learn from it”. Instead of punishing children for every little mess-up, use it as an opportunity to teach them something of value from the experience. Easier said than done right?
In my view, confident children always appear to be happier, laughing more and giggling with their friends at playtime. Their “stick cat” may not be the best drawing in the class, but nonetheless, they eagerly come and show us their artwork and say “Look what I have done” We warmly smile and say “good job” and off they go feeling so proud of themselves.
I tend to believe that children with high self-esteems are more likely to be more productive, creative, adventuresome and self-assured. They are less likely to be overcome by peer pressure, frustration, or their own shortcomings.
One way I find to raise self-esteem in children is to avoid comparing them to other kids. Making comparisons may seem harmless, but I think it sends kids the underlying message that they're not good enough. Remember, no two kids are alike (even the identical twins in my class) – and they need to know they’re equally loved, respected and appreciated just the way they are.
Another way I try to boost the confidence of the less self-assured ones is to ask them questions to which I know they know the answers. This helps a great deal in the beginning until they find their feet and their confidence begins to grow. But don’t get me wrong. We still need to push them into doing their best. Sometimes kids just give up way too easily and it’s our duty to give reassuring words and instructions to complete the task at hand. I recall one snack time. “Teacher, I can’t open my cookie” she said without even trying first. “Can’t you do it by yourself?” ”No, my mum does it for me” she said. “You can do it you know” “No, I can’t.” I showed her where to tear and after a few attempts, her little fingers ripped open that cookie, she looked around her to see who was watching and produced a smile. For the rest of the day I heard nothing else but a confident voice saying “I did it myself Teacher.”
The simple act of tying a shoe for the first time, or being allowed to pour water into their water bottles can give a child a great sense of accomplishment. “Teacher, Teacher, may I fill my water bottle up?” Ian said. “Yes, but remember to grasp the jug tightly with both hands and ask a friend to hold your water bottle securely on the table.” Thud! I turn around and see water all over the table and floor and his plastic bottle bouncing across Fancy Kitchen. With no friend with him, he looks up at me. “Sorry Teacher.” Resisting the urge to get mad at him I say, “That’s ok Ian. Are you going to ask a friend to help you next time?” He nods with a little smirk on his face so I proceed to give him the responsibility of mopping up the small puddle that had formed on the floor. Now, we may be tempted to punish him or shout at him, but he learnt from the incident and now makes certain a friend helps him every time to pour his water and I am happy to say he hasn’t spilt the water again…yet!
One story springs to mind. My son’s cot is situated next to my bed and when he was at ten months he was so desperately trying to climb out by putting his leg through the bars and using the mattress to step up and over the top. He was grunting and huffing and using every ounce of strength in his little body to achieve this goal, all the while glancing at me with a plea of help in his eyes. He started to cry a little but I resisted the urge to assist him. His mum was staring at me with a disapproving look. She wanted to help. “Wait” I said. “He’s nearly there, let him try.” Still crying and moaning, suddenly with one final blast of effort, over the top he went onto the bed. My son had stopped crying, joyfully made eye contact with me and showed me this big beautiful smile on his face.
We sometimes smother our kids too much, wanting to help them all the time, but does this really help them in the long term. A healthy self-esteem will grow and grow as a child develops his own special gifts. We can raise a child’s self-esteem by being respectful to them in every aspect of their life. The attitudes and behaviors of us all can help set the foundation for healthy self-esteem in children. When we strive to keep all of our interactions with kids positive, we are rewarded with youngsters who are happy, confident, and ready to take on the world.

Teacher Jonathan
University of Leeds
Lujou Branch
蘆洲校區